Archigos' Life

I just wanted to take a second to apologize beforehand about some of the things that are in this post…
  If you don’t want to deal with death, sadness, etc. please skip over the “Random Question” section
  Speaking of the “Random Question” section, sorry if it’s worded ‘weird’… there’s so much running through my head it’s hard to make sense out of some of it.
  I ‘tried’ to keep most of the swearing to a minimum, but some spots… well, oops 🙂

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
Scary Movie 1 through 4 (I’m currently on number 3)

*Random Question* OR *Random Quote*
For anyone that knows me (or reads enough of this blog) knows that I’ve dealt with a shitload of medical things throughout my life, from the Cancer, Spinal Injuries, depression (most of my life), PTSD (from the military), Insomnia, the list could go on for pages… Anyway, the point being, a few weeks ago I started having really bad vivid nightmares again… the explosions, the deaths, the sound of gun fire… it was like I was re-living certain ‘low points’ in my life again. There’s only been three people my entire life I’ve been comfortable enough with to talk about certain things and even if they didn’t really converse and just listened, the venting helped.

The first was my grandmother who passed away a little over 11 years ago, but I still find myself occasionally taking a step back and thinking about how she’d react to my actions to see if it’s a good idea or not. I could never put into words the impact she had on my life. The second person, which I’m very guarded in talking about (except to a very select few) is the person that gave me the name AJ and changed my life forever. She’s the reason I really joined the military. The last in the list is someone I’ve written about a few times recently (more so on Facebook)… she’s literally saved my life multiple times since we’ve met.

Although the circumstances are most likely different, I assume most of the people reading this can relate to having people in their life (both living and passed) that have been this special. Now, let’s say that someone who fit the above description came to you for a favor but was secretive about it due to the potential life changing results (which don’t really matter for this) and you agree with no questions asked. Then a few days go by without talking so you have no clue what happened… good or bad!

So… since this is under the ‘random question/random quote’ section where’s the question?
Two vital pieces of information missing from the above is that person two passed away in a tragic accident (which is the main reason I don’t talk her to most people) and person three already knows about person two… With that in mind, I know some people thankfully don’t have that experience in their life, but try to envision someone who would ‘fit’ for persons two and three. Now, finally, the question…
Although secretive, say either you figured out “three’s” favor (or they told you) and due to similarities it brings up a lot of memories, and in turn feelings, about how “two” passed away which can obviously screw with someone who has depression issues… Would you tell them about those feelings? Would you attempt to explain that even though you realize they are two totally different people, the similarities brought on fear that you’d lose them too? And finally, how would you explain to a third-party that it was that fear that caused your depression to go into overdrive and that’s the reason behind hurtful comments being directed at them when they did nothing to deserve that treatment?

*Dates* – B = Birthday; E = Event; W = Weekend; X = Closed

*Medical*
A week or two ago, I started getting this pain on the right side of my head. It was more than a ‘ear ache’ or ‘ear infection’ since all the surrounding area hurt to the touch, from my temple down to parts of my neck (where the cancer originally was). I couldn’t even lay my head down without sharp pain travelling my entire body, probably due to the spinal issues, but the spinal issues make my right side normally the most comfortable to lay on. Thankfully pretty much all the pain is gone, as well as the high pitch noise I heard non-stop for three days, but I can tell that the ear canal is still pretty damn swollen and it’s causing hearing issues. I mean I’m nowhere near deaf, but if you’re talking directly to my right ear it almost sounds like your standing at the opposite end of a large concert hall and trying to whisper to me… I can hear it, but it’s a weird ‘hollow’ kind of echo to most of it. When the pain and everything went away I thought to myself “Well, that sucked, but at least it’s gone and I can hear people when they try to talk to me in the car” since I’m always driving and they are on my right. A few hours after that though I started to get this massive fucking migraine and I’ve been sick as hell for the last few days… my stomach doesn’t really hurt per-se, but the vomiting would last hours at a time and the migraines would last even longer.

As mentioned on Facebook, my doctors are kind of pissed at me still because of my weight. Supposedly my ‘ideal weight’ is in the 168-175 lbs (roughly 76-80 kg) range with doctors wanting me near the higher end because of other medical things… I guess having the extra pound or two in that range would show my body is ‘trying’ to remain healthy or something… (No fucking clue). On Tuesday, I go into the little room and said something along the lines of “Same drill?” as I took my coat off and pulled up my arm sleeve waiting for the little blood pressure cuff… then I realized he’s looking at my stomach funny. We had an interesting exchange of words about my weight before I got on the scale and he confirmed I went down to roughly 137 lbs. (62 kg) which is almost a full 8-10 pounds under where I’ve been staying steady at for a while now. Oops… It’s not like I’m starving myself or doing anything on purpose, I’m not anorexic, bulimic, or anything else that induces vomiting on purpose (in fact, that shit sucks so bad, I can’t understand why people would do it on purpose – not judging, just saying ‘fuck that’ as far as it being a so-called ‘option’ for me. To a point, if the doctors told me I’d have to vomit or I’d balloon up to a half ton, I’d ask if I could get a discount on a contractor to widen the door frames).

*Gadgets*
This time of year… I can’t afford anything new/good, but I have my eyes on a few things that I hope to get by next summer and I’ll wait until probably New Year’s or so before I post any specifics since (although unlikely) I may get some of it (or alternates).

*Travel*
Again, like I can afford it. (I have something planned for January though.

*Updates/Upgrades*
I’ve changed the theme for the blog again and I’m still tweaking a few things here and there. I had originally started writing a new theme from scratch but when I tried to activate that one I apparently screwed something up and damn near killed access to the blog, so I found this new theme which I’ll use as the starting point for the new one.

Sometimes things work in strange ways… Some call it fate, others destiny, maybe “God” or another religious figurehead. This post isn’t about that per-se since I don’t want to cause debates or controversy.

I’ve always had issues while writing about things I try to say not coming across correctly unless I spend way to much time editing, tweaking, etc. A lot of times the most common problem I have is ‘jumping around’. This post will probably be a great example of that since I kind of want my thoughts to flow and really don’t want to spend the time to ‘pretty it up’.

Case in point, a few weeks ago someone I hadn’t talked to in many years sent me a long ass email just trying to ‘catch up’ and I wrote a nice long email back talking about things in my life… a lot of my medical problems, what I went through because of the Cancer and Chemotherapy, loss of family and friends, and a bunch of other random things. The problem was that I had written that email to him after having been awake for about 2+ days straight so I decided I would ‘proof read’ it in the morning before sending it. The problem with that idea is I had already taken a double dose of sleeping pills and accidentally hit the Send button instead. Now, to give him credit, I understand what he did after reading my email would technically fall under “looking out for a friend” but too a point I felt a betrayal because he misunderstood some of what I had written as signs of being suicidal and instead of emailing me back or calling me to just say “Hey, are you ok? Do you need someone to talk to?” he reported me and I was forced to deal with MANY questions about my current mental status (among other things) which really didn’t help me with my depression issues and may have set some of the ‘progress’ I’ve made on my ability to open up to people in my life back a little.

Fast forward to last night: I got a phone call from the above person’s sister. As I stated on Facebook, she was crying hysterically to the point I couldn’t understand anything she was saying (there was a LOT of noise in the background) so her older brother took the phone. He informed me there was a car accident but didn’t really share too many details, we talked for a little bit about his brother’s condition when in mid-sentence I heard some mumbling in the background and he yelled “Amputate his leg… Are you serious?… Wait…” and he hung up the phone. About 3.5 hours later I got another call from the brother telling me that he had passed away from his injuries. I still don’t know the full details of how the accident happened but the first thought I had after the second call is that it may somehow be my fault… (after the doctors figured out I wasn’t suicidal, I was told he got in trouble for ‘wasting their time’ but no clue what kind of ‘trouble’ it was).

—
I need to stop talking/thinking about this before my depression kicks into over drive. So, on a lighter note: Sometimes I say or do stupid things that may be viewed as suicidal thoughts or actions (as apparent in the above) and I admit that I’ve dealt with depression most of my life but more so after I stared dealing with Cancer. However, even though I have had suicidal thoughts on rare occasions, they are more in the ‘morbid’ category, like for example driving at night while it’s raining and kind of picturing a ‘what-if’ the car hydroplanes off a bridge as opposed to a “fuck life, I’m going to hang/shoot myself”… Either way, I would NEVER act on any of those kind of thoughts and I definitely would not put anyone else at risk, because I do have enough sense/morals to understand that these thoughts are about how my life is screwed up and no one else deserves to ‘go down with me’. Anyway, yes it was similar talk to this that caused my friend above to do what he did, but the reason I’m pointing it out here is that over the last couple months I’ve been talking to someone, building a nice healthy friendship and she’s saved my life (even if she doesn’t believe it when I tell her) so I just wanted to take this time to not only say “Thank you” but to wish her a Happy Birthday and hope that the sadness above doesn’t cloud her beautiful heart and smile.

I told her last night when it happened I had to comment about it on my blog. “The highlight of the night was she touched my spleen.”, but the truth is, although that was interesting in its own right, the ‘real’ highlight of the night was just getting time to spend together.

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
I’ve been playing a bunch of Borderlands 2, so just catching up on some of the shows I missed while she’s at work… (Man, I wish I could afford to hire a maid). Another 2 hours of shows, then cleaning marathon until my back tells me to fuck off from the pain.

*Random Question* OR *Random Quote*
Is it wrong to pretty much lose ALL faith in the so-called justice system? How is it that die-hard druggies, scumbags, and all around ‘wastes of oxygen’ can do pretty much whatever the hell they want and continue to walk (or barely get a slap on the wrist) EVERY time they get caught… while someone else get shafted for what essentially boils down to a ‘wrong place/wrong time’ situation. Yes, almost everyone has something ‘bad’ in their past, be it some legal issues, possibly drug problems, or just simply things they are ashamed of and wish to keep secret. Human nature is a phrase that tends to mean many things because it all depends on multiple factors for each person, like morality, different levels of sympathy and empathy, as well as a laundry list of other stuff.

I’m obviously not going to name any person (and I’ll try my best to not give any details that would reveal their identity), but here’s a few things that make me wonder… feel free to comment on if you think justice was served or not, but please do not state (guess or otherwise) and person’s name.

Male, early 30’s, ex-Military… 3 years after they got out of the military (never in a ‘combat situation’) they got into a bar fight and beat a man to death. They claimed PTSD and got 2 years in jail (plus mandatory psych treatments).

Male, mid-30’s (now deceased), ex-Military… spent multiple tours in Iraq/Afghanistan (heavy combat situations). 2 years after getting out they were actively seeking help for legitimate PTSD. One night while driving home from the doctors, they had a flashback and thought the people walking on the sidewalk were enemy combatants. They swerved their vehicle to try to cut them off, hitting someone in the process. The man got out of the car and ran after a second person and started a fight. The cops thankfully were able to stop him pretty quick, but the person hit by the car got a broken leg and the other person ended up with a broken nose and jaw. After hearing what happened, the doctor went straight to the police to explain about his flashbacks and to pressed the fact that there were times he had NO clue what was going on and was literally reliving what he experienced over there. He was sentenced to 5 years in jail (no parole) and 3-5 years of probation. He died in jail about a year into his sentence.

Female, early 20’s… made some mistakes with drugs years ago and lost everything… She used that experience (with the help of friends) to totally turn her life around and become one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.

Male, unknown age… hired by a drug dealer to kill a person in a hit and run accident. They missed their target and instead killed a different person. They weren’t sentenced based on the fact that it was a death due to a contract kill and instead got 3-5 years for ‘accidental vehicular manslaughter’. <- This guy should have fucking fried... Yes, I believe in the death penalty in certain cases.

Female, early 20’s… got really drunk and sadly drove home (thankfully no accident). An hour or two later cops showed up at their door and said “Miss, have you been drinking?” she said “Yes” and they asked “Were you driving today?”, she responded “A few hours ago” (she never stated if she was drinking prior to driving or if she got drunk after she got home), they arrested her for DUI.

I originally had like 4 or 5 more that I was going to add to this, but I can’t really think of ways to word it without it pretty much giving away who it is, even without their name(s) listed, so I’ll end here.

*Dates* – B = Birthday; E = Event; W = Weekend; X = Closed

*Work*
See new “Dates” area for a few details of office closings.

*Medical*
Due to my latest round of ‘full body seizures’, I’ve ironically regained the remaining feeling/movement in the last couple toes on my right foot. Which is a great thing, they claim if things keep continuing around this pace, I should be able to ‘free walk’ upwards of about 10-15 feet (without the cane) and without the constant feeling of falling by as early as May next year. It’s still going to take probably another year or two before I can actually just leave the cane home and ‘be free’ again, but it’s a great start.
I can’t remember what I’ve mentioned in the past about these types of seizures, but please note, these aren’t typical ones that you would associate with my health getting worse, instead what is essentially happening is due to the spinal injury that also fucked up a large nerve cluster in my back, these seizures boil down to the nerves trying to regenerate themselves, but my brain not understanding the bombardment of random signals all at once so my head just says “Um, we don’t know what he’s trying to do, just start moving everything and see what works?” which is pretty painful, but doesn’t last too long. The only regret I have about them is if they happen when I’m around certain people, like the last time it happened, I had previously told her about it and warned her what it ‘may’ look like, but I could it in her eyes that not only was she worried about me, but you could tell she even had some pain knowing there was nothing she could do to help me. I guess I should just be glad that I wasn’t laying down when it happened, cause it fucking hurts a lot worse that way… (it can get so violent that I tend to bounce on whatever surface I’m on, so I kind of get banged up in the process).

*Gadgets*
Still can’t afford to play musical chairs with my Verizon account to get the iPhone5, but I’m guessing by Hanukkah or Christmas at the latest. 🙂
*Travel*
I have a nice trip planned next week (Oct. 3rd) to help Tamra celebrate her birthday. Nothing overly special, but as long as she has a good time, that’s all that matters to me.
*Updates/Upgrades*
Looking for suggestions on some server upgrades, the 12TB just isn’t big enough anymore, but I’m unsure if I should fill the remaining bays in my JBOD tower with 2TB drives, or if I should pull some of the internal drives, move them to the JBOD and put 3TB drives internal (the JBOD caps the drives at 2TB, which is why I can’t put the 3TB’s in it). Either way, finances suck so it wont be until after the new year most likely (unless I have some kind of drive failure which would piss me off).

Fuck it, 6pm, I’m going to get dinner and get back to cleaning.

Blog Theme
Not that I have many readers on here, especially since I don’t update as often as I’d like, but for those that have viewed it before, you’ll notice that I changed the theme for the first time in like 2-3 years. I really wanted to keep the old theme I was using but apparently some change in WordPress (no idea when) broke the damn thing and I’m too lazy to try to rewrite it from scratch to match the new engine. In this case “broke” means that the site worked on laptops and desktops (although one or more plugins made it slow as shit) and if you opened the blog on an iOS device (confirmed in Safari, Atomic, and Chrome) it would crash the entire app after about 20-30 seconds. From the quick tests I did after changing the theme and tweaking some stuff I believe it fixed the above issues. If any of my readers still notice anything wrong, please let me know… I guess if this doesn’t work my next step will be back up the database and start from scratch since it’s not like any of the old posts are really archived for posterity.

iOS issues
Aside from the browser issue above, Apple amazes me yet again with some of their so-called App Review Policies where they appear to let useless apps, obvious scams, etc. through into the AppStore on occasion but when a good legitimate app gets ‘too’ popular or the ‘right’ kind of person complains they strong-arm the developer into “You have 24 hours to change the core of your app and remove features or we’ll pull it”. The reason to bitch in this case is there are literally dozens of apps that include similar (or damn near identical) features as the ones being forcibly removed from this app and it’s not a case of “Hey, they stole my copyright” or “Hey, they copied my shit” it’s integration of 3rd Party services that Apple doesn’t seem to have much problem with in other applications. (Think similar to how a lot of apps use Dropbox or Twitter or whatever)

The reason I’m not mentioning the app name or developer is that I’ve been a fan of theirs practically since day one and even help with their tech support etc. I do NOT work for them and I don’t want them to get any backlash for me rambling on a stupid blog.

Random Shit
Back to the random crap I normally put in posts… (for the most part)

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
Marathon of the current season of Royal Pains (from Episode 2 forward)

*Random Question* OR *Random Quote*
Yes, I meant it when I said cows don’t bounce… (thankfully no damage to the car)

*Dates* – B = Birthday; E = Event; W = Weekend; X = Closed

*Work*
See new “Dates” area for a few details of office closings.
I’m most likely going to strip down all my sites (well, most of them) and put up new/updated ones for the (sub)domains I want to keep. Also, after replacing my main laptop that I used for my programming environment I started the HTPC Portal Project again and have built a PHP Framework back-end that should allow for better expand-ability for modules in the future. (I’m not exactly sure when I’ll push the new version to GitHub but after I correct one last thing that has been ‘bugging’ me I’ll push it… if I can’t fix that, I’ll push it to a new branch to see if others can help)

*Medical*
Don’t ask… but a SHITLOAD of pain.
*Gadgets*
If the rumor mill is true, Apple should be at least announcing the new iPhone5 in about 4 days… Obviously Apple knows what they’re doing with releasing new devices on a yearly schedule, although at that pace it’s hard to technically add enough ‘new shit’ or enhance what they already have to the point of ‘needing’ each and every upgrade they release (which is a good thing for consumers that understand that as opposed to the die-hard fan boys that blindly ‘need’ every single device).
Anyway, mainly due to the fact that Apple are dicks with the new iOS6 (read as: NO iOS6 for 1st Gen. iPad and certain features turned off/removed for iPhone4) I plan on upgrading to the iPhone5 if I can afford it… (I’d have to pay full retail for the phone to keep my Unlimited plan on Verizon which probably wont happen…) but even though I want a new(er) iPad as well, wouldn’t even have to be the 3rd Gen. there’s no way in hell I could afford that anytime soon.

Seeing as I’ve been writing this post for well over an hour (mainly distracted by TV) and it’s now 7am… (I hate being nocturnal) I’ll finish the tweaking and this post later…

I hit a cow….

They don’t bounce.

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
After I finish catching up on some missed news, going to finish my “The Guild” marathon.
*Random Question*
Why the hell do people make empty promises?

*Empty Promises*
As you can see from the post prior to this one, I was in the middle of talks with a few people to collaborate and expand the purpose of this blog, but apparently I can’t trust at least some of those people. Now, before I go any further, there were a few people I talked with that said they would love to help out, but due to time constraints, personal life, etc. are still willing, but it probably wouldn’t be often… and I thank them for at least having the willingness to help out and the balls to be honest. To the other 2 assholes that promised they would write up some new content that would flow well with the guides that I was writing at the time, thanks for showing your true personality. I bet you didn’t realize the person you were talking to when you called me a “Mindless Cripple” that you could “Easily take advantage of” was a really good friend of mine. Thankfully I had enough forethought to tell them to write a few guides and submit them to me prior to giving them the damn password.

*Last Couple Months*
I still have to finish writing the HTPC related guides I started a couple months ago (I kind of forgot about them). I’ve been so busy the last couple months providing tech support for “XBMC Constellation” (and a little for “Plex Constellation”), working on a couple personal website projects, and doing some iOS related projects. A project I took on a couple weeks ago (which is taking almost all my awake time) is essentially a re-imagining of MediaFrontPage that ‘hernandito‘ (the original creator) and I call “HTPCPortal”. This project requires that you are running PHP5+ on your network (most likely your HTPC) and obviously are running at least ‘some’ of the typical HTPC Apps. You can grab a copy (or fork it) from GitHub at either of the following locations: “Master Repo” or “Beta Repo“. I know there are obviously easier ways to manage the project on GitHub (like multiple branches on the same Repo) but for now, new features, etc. are distributed to a few select beta testers and once stable are added to the Beta Repo. After bug-fixes and required tweaks, the repo is than copied to the Master Repo. I’m currently working on a massive update that will include a full modular design and ‘on-site setup’ so you’ll no longer need to manually edit the ‘settings.ini’ (which will be auto-created if unavailable). After I finish the last couple of sections to the setup and the beta testers verify the application settings are working properly I’ll push a copy to both repo’s.

*iTunes is being a pain in the ass again*
I’ve been running iOS 5.0.1 on all my devices pretty much since it came out and everything has been working great. I recently found a new app and a jailbreak tweak that I really want to play around with but they required iOS 5.1.1, so I attempted to use the ‘on-device’ update which failed (not sure if it was because of the jailbreak) so I figured fuck it and did a full reset on my iPad, hooked it up to the laptop and upgraded to 5.1.1 and than proceeded to jailbreak it again. All fine and dandy but when I tried to restore all my apps/music/etc. and it taking almost 6 hours to do the fucking restore I typed my password in and what do I see? Only Apple’s official apps… It did transfer my personal settings for those apps, but NOTHING else. I tried to run a restore from a different backup and this time it took about 4 hours… again, NO APPS or anything. Cydia still works so I installed AptBackup and tried the restore in there which re-installed iFile and that appears to be it. After a dis/re-connect iTunes didn’t bother to complain or say anything when I manually told it to re-sync my iBooks/Audiobooks and pictures, but when I went to re-sync the apps it told me it had to dump all the apps on the iPad to “Sync a new library” since you can only use one at a time (although the iPad has an identical name as it did last time it was set up). Anyway, 21 hours after the initial ‘upgrade’ fucking iTunes is STILL trying to sync the damn apps and it wont surprise me in the least when it finishes and is still missing a bunch of shit. I guess I’m going to wait for iOS 6 (and a jailbreak for it) are released before I bother to update my iPhone.

It’s 5am… I’m going to bed.

I’m currently in the process of talking to a few people about contributing to this blog and integrating it more into part of the network of sites we have. If everything goes well and we proceed I’ll be moving all my personal entries from below to a new page (and other contributors will get personal pages).

My hope is that the blog will turn more into a HTPC/Web Design/Networking/Whatever type of thing.

Most people probably wouldn’t notice the two changes to the Affiliates/Links on the left, but the first change is a great deal. For the HTPC crowd, most of you are familiar with Usenet or at least heard of it. For people in need of a Usenet Provider, I recently (just a couple hours ago) switched to NewsDemon, who are currently running a sweet promotion (no idea when it ends) where you get your first month of unlimited Usenet for $7 and it’s just $10 per month after… If you click the link after this promotion ends, the same plan is $19.95 a month. If you don’t want to pay month by month, you can buy ‘chunks’ from as little as 10GB ($2) to 1000GB ($87) that are a single fee until you run out. The second change is switching from MediaFrontPage to Maraschino. Maraschino, like MediaFrontPage before it is a singular website you would host on your home network that tries to incorporate features/information from SabNZBd+, SickBeard, etc. and consolidate the different interfaces to manage your HTPC.

—-
“Normal” Post:
As I’ve stated before on the blog, my memory sometimes annoys the hell out of me. It turns out I’ve written four different blog posts since the last one you see… When I wrote them apparently I saved them as drafts by accident (probably due to being tired and wanting to proof read before I submit) but I never got around to actually posting them. The ‘paranoia’ post below this one was written two days before my 31^st birthday and pending on how you look at it, not much has changed since then. Being the dumb-ass I am, I deleted the four posts that never went public before I read them so… oh well. Here’s a quick run down for those that keep track: Birthday (uneventful), Thanksgiving (uneventful), Hanukkah (spent alone), Christmas (mostly uneventful), New Year’s (drunk), Jan. 5 – Social Security Review for my disability*¹, Jan. 29 – 5 year anniversary of when I was diagnosed with Cancer, Valentine’s Day (Don’t ask), the last week – screwed up my knee when I fell because of the damn snow/ice.

The forums for the iOS application “XBMC Constellation” by “FSS.cc” are no longer sealed to Beta Testers and now open for the public. If you’re an XBMC user, please use the same screen name when you register for the Constellation forums to make it easier for other users to recognize you.

Both my iPhone and iPad now bitch at me every few days to remind me to write more for the blog, so things should happen more frequent (at least for awhile), especially if we get some new contributors for tech related stuff… Tutorials, Product Reviews (Hardware or Software), iOS related news, etc.

On that note, I’ll write again soon (my Mass Effect 3 pre-order arrives tomorrow).
—-
*¹: The review went well, my range of motion wasn’t as high as I thought it would be and the muscle damage in inner/front part of my right leg is apparently not as bad since my body compensated and the muscle in the back of that leg is stronger. The doctor said she’d never seen that before, but with the dead muscle in the front she couldn’t figure out why the circumference was still equal on both of my legs until she tested the muscle mass in the back of each leg. For doing their tests the beginning of January, they just sent me the paperwork/results about two weeks ago, so I was kind of confused for awhile with no clue what was going on (it’s a third party doctor that performs the review so they legally can’t tell you anything about if/how your disability would be affected).

Is it still paranoia if someone IS trying to get you?

I have no idea what’s been going on lately, but my body essentially wants to do nothing but sleep… sadly although I’ve been laying in bed almost 20+ hours a day the last few days, I’m still not getting shit for sleep. My birthday is this coming Friday so I’m guessing it may be related to my depression, but it’s beyond pissing me off at this point.

A lot of people tend to side one way or another on the “Windows vs. Mac” front and call people “Windows Fanboy” or “Mac Fanboy” respectively. No matter what side you fall on, you have to admit that Steve Jobs, one of the co-founders of Apple, Inc. was a wonderful inspiration to many people. He made so many innovations, not just to Apple but to the entire world.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

— Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005

As many people know, Mr. Jobs announced in mid-2004 that he was diagnosed with a rare form of Cancer and underwent a “Whipple Procedure” that summer to remove the tumor. In late 2008, early 2009 his health became a concern again that resulted in having a liver transplant in April 2009. A year and a half after the transplant in January 2011, Mr. Jobs once again took a medical leave from Apple to focus on his health. With multiple forms of health problems that continued, he announced near the end of August 2011 that he was resigning from Apple, stating in his internal Apple resignation that he could “no longer meet duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO”.

Sadly, Steve Jobs passed away on October 5th, 2011 at age 56. Apple confirmed his passing with the following statement:

We are deeply saddened to announce that Steve Jobs passed away today.

Steve’s brilliance, passion and energy were the source of countless innovations that enrich and improve all of our lives. The world is immeasurably better because of Steve.

His greatest love was for his wife, Laurene, and his family. Our hearts go out to them and to all who were touched by his extraordinary gifts.