Almost a year…

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Pre-warning, this post may just jump randomly from topic to topic and might not even be coherent to some people. I’m writing this in the order it flows in my head, so I can’t even keep all of it straight. P.S. I’m writing this on my iPad, so there’s bound to be random autocorrects that I don’t catch.

It’s been almost a year since I last posted on here. Mainly because when I do have the time to write, I can’t remember what I needed to say and when I do remember it’s when I’m not near a device to type it on and I forget by the time I’m near something.
I think because of my new medication some of my doctors are getting what they asked for from me and that’s the fact I think I’ve gained roughly 15 pounds in the last three weeks, yet I’m still below where they tell me I need to be. The good news is that all of the side effects these drugs have, the worse I’ve really come across so far is that I have to pee like all the time (but that just proves my new ‘gut’ isn’t just water weight or something).

My main server (not my hosting servers) died back in mid September and I haven’t had the money to fix it yet, so the last few months have been kind of boring and taking a toll on my depression. Don’t get me wrong, I do get out once in awhile and I have a few friends I kind of hang out with, but my life is far from ‘social’ mainly because I either can’t afford to go anywhere and do stuff or I always feel like I’m a burden on others, like making people wait around because I move slower than I used to… Or more often than not at a store when you can never seem to find an employee to help you have to rely on strangers to get stuff off shelves you can’t reach. Most people are nice about it but it only takes that one asshole that gives you the look like “Yeah, alright” or “Bet you’re probably faking it” since it’s not as common to see a guy in his 30’s riding around in the electric wheelchair, and for those that don’t know me personally most people guess my age in the late teens early 20’s.

My one doctor said it’d be good for me to write stuff down and it’ll help me work through some things but also it may help timeline if/when I start showing worsening signs of memory loss. I’ve looked at a bunch of those “1 a day” apps where you either take a photo or write something about your day everyday and it’d be a great idea, but I already have the foresight to know that shit might last a week before I forget once or just said to hell with it and it’d make the whole thing a moot point anyway. I’ve still got to get a primary care replacement for my last Doctor that moved to a different city but I’m so not looking forward to the whole ordeal of explaining all the shit wrong with me to yet another person when I wish I could just say, “I’m fucked up, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but here’s the medications I need, I’ll be on my way now.” 

New topic… Navient (formally Sallie Mae) are the biggest bunch of assholes. For the longest time (up until a couple months ago) they kept screwing up my student loans. If you’re a person on SSI and/or Disability, you can request a forbearance or deferment that pretty much means you don’t owe any money now, but they still add the interest to the loan and resume payments usually in a year (or get that extend by another year if you’re still on assistance). The problem I have with these morons is they would call me and say something like “You’re $3000 behind on your payments, we can take a check or credit card over the phone. How will you be paying your bill today?” And first off, the dollar value they tell me is wildly sporadic, sometimes it’d be like $200, other times I’d be closer to $5000. Each time they call I have to explain EVERYTHING all over again about the disability, they’ll say they are checking the account and they apologize and will process my account so I’d be caught up FOR A YEAR. They guarantee me every fucking time, “You’re all set and have no payments for a year” and 2 to 5 months later, they’ll call and do the same dumb shit. That’s sadly not even the worse part of what they are doing. I recently attempted to do some debt consolidation and although all my student loans are pushed, they keep reporting to the credit agency monthly saying my debt went up or more often than not that I’m late on the payments. So, legally I don’t owe them a fucking cent, but because they refuse to report the proper information, the bank sees an extra $57,000 worth of debt that I can’t do anything about which total kills my debt to income ratio. Therefore, I’m in too much debt to have enough credit to pay off my debt. Seems a little ass backwards to me. The bank I went to had a very nice loan officer and she tried her best to get me approved for what I needed, but now I’m stuck in a limbo/hell with no idea who to talk to next to try and fix this. Social Security is a pain to deal with so I can’t ‘borrow’ money from a friend of family member that even though I’d pay them back as if it was a bank loan because for about a day the money would sit in my bank account before going off on it’s merry way to the credit card companies, it’d count all that as income and use it against me. I’ve attempted a bunch of different searches online for the recommended way to do debt consolidation while on assistance and most of the things I could fit into 1 of three categories. Someone else asking similar questions, sites/people giving kind of shady advice or services, and sites that seem like they are trying to up sell you on shit you don’t want or need.

I have a doctor appointment in 6 hours and still haven’t gone to sleep yet. Sometimes I hate my life.

I don’t get how the government expects people to live off the low amount of money they give. If you take a ‘normal’ person that work for 40 hours a week for an average of 50 weeks, that’s 2000 hours of work. Sadly in the area I live in, there’s a good chunk of the working class that doesn’t make 40 hours a week. However, I’ll still use the 2000 hours for my example: at $8 an hour, that’s $16,000 so it’s kind of safe to say that most people in this area make probably $12,000 or more and I make less than that.

If I continue to make this many mistakes while typing I may have to start having someone proof read my posts before I make them public. Speaking of posts, I’m going to be revisiting my protocols posts and not only update those a bit, but add some new stuff, like adding Atom as an alternatives to Sublime and kind of do a tutorial on setting up a basic web development environment.

I may either edit this post or create another post later today/tonight but I think this is good for now.

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