Tag Archives: Friends

Customizations, Opinions, and My Mood? (::Updated::)

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(::UPDATE::)
I know I said I would do the update on Monday after the doctors, but for some reason I was hyper as hell that entire day and felt very weird. Anyway, I didn’t get home until kind of late, got side tracked with schoolwork and a project, then to top it off when I finally fell asleep around 4 or 5am I pretty much slept ALL of Tuesday away. I got up once around 5:45pm when a friend stopped by and woke me up, I used that time to have a pee break, apologized to him, sending him away and going back to sleep. I got up around 4am this morning (Wed.) and have felt like hell. In fact, less then 5 minutes before signing on to update this post I was standing on my porch (can’t smoke in doors) and vomiting over the railing, no clue why, but it’s typical in my life these days.

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
“Wicked Lake” (2008) – So far this is a really messed up movie… can’t really call it a ‘horror’ movie, but it’s about as far from a ‘family’ movie as you get. Since I’m working on other stuff and writing this I’m not overly paying attention, but what I’m assuming are all family members (the guys) all need to die for being this screwed in the head and the stuff they’re doing to the hotties. ::Update:: Turns out the hotties were some kind of creatures that killed all those asshole dudes. hehe.

*Quote of the Moment*
“Welcome to Mexico!”
“I’m in Mexico?”
“Well, technically you’re in Southern California, but who the fuck can tell the difference anymore?”
– From “Rise: Blood Hunter” (2007)

*College*
As I mentioned in a previous post there was a class I had taken that I failed, partly because of doctor appointments (a.k.a. lack of time), partly because of my depression screwing with my concentration and motivation, and partly because this class is a continuation of a previous one and the ‘refresher’ wasn’t exactly coming back to me, so I know what I’m doing, but I was too damn frustrated trying to remember how to do it. Anyway, the point of that is I’m in that class again and I think this time around I’m starting to remember and for some odd reason just feeling overall ‘better’ about it this time around. The only issues I’m having now is that I’ve managed to move doctor appointments mostly to a single day per week, so that day is obviously useless as far as getting work done, but the tremors in my hands (and legs) keep me frustrated enough that I can’t draw the required illustrations for my projects, hell, I can’t even trace images well enough for people to not think it was a 2 year old that did it. Class starts in 10 minutes.

*Work*
I’ll be adding (at minimum) two new projects by weeks end that should go live by the end of the month. Beta testers needed and more details will be provided to those that qualify. ::Update:: One project scraped due to time issues, but still need testers for the other one.

*Medical*
A large pile of appointments throughout the month, but thankfully I managed to stockpile a majority on Mondays and Thursdays as opposed to having them on random days/times that can screw with everything else in what I’m forced to call “My Life”.

*Birthdays*
Russ on Jan. 29th
I couldn’t find anyone that I had birthday information on in my address book, so if I missed yours let me know for next time.

*Gadgets* ::Updated::
So, Verizon finally made it’s official announcement that it’s bring the iPhone 4 to its network and once it goes on Pre-Order Feb. 3rd I’ll be ordering one of those. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Android OS (especially on my Droid X) but since I already have an iPod Touch and iPad I figured why be forced to by apps for Android when I probably have something that already works for the iPhone. Another incentive is that Marc broke his original Droid and doesn’t have insurance, so instead of paying a butt load to fix his (busted screen, but still works) he’s going to buy my newer Droid X and I’ll use that money to offset most of the iPhone cost. Only crap part is that the new iPhone’s wont start shipping until Feb. 10th, but at least it’s not on that joke network… *cough, cough* AT&T *cough, cough*.

From images of the Verizon iPhone compared to the AT&T version it appears there were a few changes, most notably an antenna fix (for the ‘death grip’) and the fact that it now runs on a CDMA network, but I’ve been looking at some “Gelaskins” for the device (among others) and wanted some reader opinion. All three of the images below were taken from Gelaskins website and will be removed upon their request if required (yes, I did NOT ask for permission to use the images, but at least I’m not hotlinking and wasting their bandwidth).


Some of the other Gelaskins I’m looking at for other devices may make it onto the Projects/Gadgets page, but most likely not until I purchase them (or get a nice surprise gift)

*Travel* ::Updated::
I was supposed to have two conferences this month (one in NY and one in PA) but thankfully the one in PA was rescheduled and the NY one isn’t that far of a drive, I may just say screw it and turn it into a long ass day trip instead of staying overnight. To hell with over priced hotel rooms when it’s only a 2 or 3 hour drive away. ::Update:: I managed to lose the paperwork for the NY meeting so I guess I’m not going to that one either this month… oh well, they know my medical history and it’s not like I get in trouble if I’m a no-show, they just carry on like it doesn’t matter.

Interesting Month….

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A lot has happened and that’s part of the reason I haven’t updated this month, but oh well…

*Work*
Since this is the holiday season there’s some upcoming closings the customers should be aware of:
November 24-26 – Thanksgiving
December 1-9 – Hanukkah
December 22-28 – Christmas
Dec. 31 – Jan. 3 – New Years

*Gadgets*
I finally finished the full automation for the media servers, I may do a write up of what packages I used, how to set them up to work together and the custom tweaks I did to finish it off. If I do that, it will be on the Projects/Gadgets page.

*Medical*
Not sure what the hell is going on, I’ve been having this severe pain the last few weeks, in fact, it lasted almost two full weeks before I told anyone about it and it’s getting worse. I really hope it turns out to be an ear infection or something simple but the pain comes and goes and when it’s there I damn near lose 100% of my hearing on whichever side it’s happening on. A great example is last night while I was in my college classes I had no hearing on my right side and a high pitch hum/buzz in the left, makes it a bitch to listen to a Professor and be able to keep up with what’s going on since your mind has to fill in the blanks sometimes since the words aren’t fully heard. I’m going to see a specialist by the end of the week and should post an update on it by the weekend.

*College*
The classes I’m in now should be interesting, I’ve written up some preliminary DB’s that I’ll post tomorrow after the doctors, they aren’t due until Midnight Wed. anyway and it’ll give me a chance to re-read them and possible add/fix crap. Oh, the ‘bigger’ news is since I haven’t been able to keep up with the Student Wiki that I created awhile back (hell, I don’t think I’ve even viewed the page in months) I made a new offer to the students in my Webmastering II class about hosting and decided that since I planned on changing the prior way I did student hosting I would kind of create a special community around it which will give the other students a bigger role for those that want to contribute and hell, maybe even make some new friends… I’m still debating on what I want to add and how I’m going to ‘protect’ the community, I’m going to move the wiki into the student section, create a forum so the topics/help/etc. will be more long term. I have a few other ideas as well but not sure yet, if any students are reading this and are interested in giving suggestions or helping out on this new project give me an email via our school email.

*Birthdays*
Can’t think of any off the top of my head… Email or IM to bitch at me if I forgot yours.

*Quote of the Moment*
…………………. Yes?

*Random*
Sorry to anyone that says I’ve been ignoring them lately, I’ve been so damn busy and the most likely sleeping or not home when they messaged me and if Windows Update kicked in and rebooted the laptop I don’t have any records of anything.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , ,

I just want to cry….

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As soon as I’m done writing this, I’ll be working on some college work until I pass out most likely. This post might be kind of a cluster of crap since I originally had a ‘game plan’ on how I wanted to organize the post, which I planned on using that layout for the first post each month, kind of an ‘all around’ update so it had kind of a similar feel each month. Well, between the last post and this one things went from bad to worse… shit has hit the fan and it’s spraying ALL over the place…

Hell, things change so fast… between when I started to write this post and what I’m writing now, I ended up going back to the hospital and to the police station… I’ll get to the ‘normal’ stuff in a bit, but I’ll start with a few of the big ones… With all this new shit, I wont bother going into the stuff I mentioned in the last post as this one will be long enough, so I’ll do that part later.

*Medical*
A little back story to the current situation:
Back in 2006 I had a normal ‘primary care’ doctor that sent me to a different hospital to get some scans. Long story short on that part was that I ended up going to an Oncologist and was diagnosed with Cancer. About a month into my cancer treatments my primary care doctor retired so I essentially went to my Oncologist for everything and after I finished Chemotherapy is when I damaged my spine. My Oncologist ended up prescribing me my pain medication that I’ve been on for over two years now, but my ‘normal’ Oncologist ended up having his own medical problems recently and is currently in the hospital waiting on a transplant list (I wont go into deeper details for his privacy). Anyway, with the main Oncologist not able to do his work they finally got around to bringing in a new ‘main’ Oncologist. This new guy changed some policies but none of the patients were notified until they went in and were like “Um, what?”. The main new policy change states that no prescriptions will be written for pain medication if it’s not 100% cancer related, as in the person has cancer that causes pain and can not be operated on, or the patient is actively going through Chemotherapy or Radiation and even then, the medications will be as low of a dose as possible.
This new policy change wouldn’t bother me and in fact makes perfect sense with all the rampant drug abuse in the area… hell, some druggies in this area have not only resorted to robbery/theft, but it’s led to violence in some cases. I’m all for this new policy to help cut down on availability of controlled substances that people abuse like crazy, but it would have been nice for them to give people a bit of a heads up so that what happened, shouldn’t have. Now, although my spinal issues were a result of having a weakened body from Chemotherapy, it’s not actually due to cancer. For those that don’t know much about the way it works for Controlled Substances, is that you get your prescription like normal, but they NEVER have refills available on the bottle, so you have to go back and see your doctor every month to continue receiving the medication, again, this wasn’t a problem for me since I have a valid reason for having it and have the pain to warrant it. Every month I would call early the week that I would run out to give them a reminder/heads up, and normally the day before I was out I would drive the 45 miles to pick up the prescription (again, being a controlled substance Doctors can NOT phone in this style medication to help cut down on druggies making fake phones calls or whatever other scam they plan on using).
Now here’s where the new policy screwed things up, since it wasn’t technically cancer related they could no longer renew my meds and told me (four days before I was going to run out) that I had to go through my primary care or have them refer me to a pain management program since my spinal issues are going to essentially be chronic (life long). I no longer had a primary care doctor since my original one retired/quit/whatever so I was able to get a new primary care about a month ago (after the last refill though) and they are the ones that prescribed the anti-depressants I mentioned. (Backtrack a little) On Wednesday I tried to call my Oncologist and kept getting a busy signal so I went to their office and that’s when I was informed about the new policy so I drove to where my new primary care doctor was and was informed that my doctor was currently out having surgery (having it, not performing it) and that the other doctor was doing double duty since he had to cover her patients as well and they said they couldn’t fit me in for at least a week and a half, but I’m going to be out of state pretty much all of next week. I drove back to the Oncologist as quick as I could with a hope that I could explain to them that my primary care was unavailable and essentially say “Look, if you could do it this one last time, it will give me roughly two weeks after I get back to town to get my primary care to see me and either decide they were going to help or send me to an official pain management place (my Oncologist can’t send me directly to a pain management group because a ‘specialist’ can not refer a patient to another ‘specialist’ without it going through primary care anyway). I managed to make it back to my Oncologists office roughly 5-10 minutes AFTER they all left for the day so I went to the receptionist and said something like “Um, here’s the situation …. have any advice?” and they called a Patient Advocate and handed me the phone. After explaining my situation for like the 4th or 5th time for the day she asked for my phone number and said if I didn’t hear anything by 10am Thursday to call her back. I also spoke to a family member that happens to work at the hospital and asked them for advice as well. Not sure which of the two did it, but someone managed to get the office where my primary care doctor was to call me and although a few hours earlier they said they were fully booked and had nothing I was asked “Can you make it here at 8:45am?” and I was like “Sure, I’ll see you first thing in the morning”. A few hours later I realized I had an appointment to have an oil change on my car at 9am and I accidentally missed the last appointment with them because of doctors, but I figured the oil change wouldn’t change much adding another 100 or so miles on the car before I see them and since I had to be at another doctor appointment (for my back) 45 miles away at 10:30am I just went to the first doctor in the morning and called the garage while sitting in the room waiting on the doctor. It’s kind of funny, I was told that this guy probably wouldn’t write the prescription for me anyway since he’d never seen me before (I normally saw the other doctor there), but we talked for a bit and I gave him my whole history and explained about my trip next week and that’s why I was in a rush to make sure I wasn’t without my meds for a couple weeks, one of which spent out of state where I’m going to be doing a lot of walking which will aggravate my back even more. This doctor was very nice, respectful, etc. and kind of surprised me kind the random things I heard kind of freaked me out. So, the doctor filled it and said when I get back in town to schedule an appointment with the other doctor (which I already had one with her for later in the month) and we’ll get it straight on if they’re going to be responsible for the pain management or if I’ll go to an actual facility or however they do it. Anyway, I took the paper to my normal pharmacy and they didn’t have enough to fill it so I went to two other places, each with the same story, not enough on hand, so I called the phone number of a pharmacy I was at earlier in the day (after the back treatment I stopped to buy new pads for my “Tens Unit”), still have no idea why I didn’t think to ask them the first time I was there, so I ended up wasting a lot of time and about 30 miles or so worth of gas. They had enough so I drove back down there again and gave them the info but they informed me my insurance wouldn’t cover it unless I picked it up the next day so I told them I’d be back in the morning (Friday morning). Friday comes around and I picked up my meds then went home to clean and pack for my trip. The cleaning/packing didn’t last too overly long before I ended up having other shit to deal with, all the while I had forgotten that I left my pill bottle in my car. I ended up leaving to visit a friend in an area that has no cell service and hung out there for awhile (more on that later). At one point I was asked to take two of the kids to go pick up some of her stuff from the place they used to live at and on the way there I drove by an area that had enough service for me to get a text message saying my friend was in the hospital so I hurried the kids up and when we got back and took the stuff inside (thankfully they didn’t make me carry anything) I mentioned the text and said I had to go see how my friend was doing, the same two kids asked if they could go with me and I allowed it. We all made it back to town and since he wasn’t home from the hospital yet we went to Wal-Mart and goofed off a little, but once he got back he txt’d me and I was able to catch up with him to find out he got jumped by a couple guys and he told me about all of his injuries. Once I knew he was relatively ok I took the kids back home and hung out for a bit when all of a sudden I heard over a police scanner that there was an assault near my house and I recognized the info. The guy that jumped my friend went to his house to find him and since he wasn’t there the guy punched his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach and she was in the hospital. I rushed back to town again to see if she was ok and I knew that they would have moved her from the emergency room to maternity on a different floor and having been awake that long my back was already hurting so I looked for my medication while on the way only to find out that my entire pill bottle and a pack of cigarettes were missing from my car (and yes I have proof that neither of the kids stole from me, therefore it was stolen earlier in the day while I was cleaning/packing) so I went to the police station to report the theft and was told by the cop that they were too busy and I should come back in the morning. After leaving the police station I went to the hospital to check on them and the pain was so bad that I stopped at the ER myself to see if they could help and ended up explaining the entire situation a few more times before they gave me something to last me until I can get an official police statement in the morning. *Small Update* Went back to the police station at 8am and talked to a cop that treated me like I was making the whole thing up, yet didn’t really ask any relevant questions and he said “Well we can look into it but I doubt there’s anything we can do” and was going to leave it at that, I had to ask him for something/anything to give my doctor and all he gave me was a post it note, at least it had a case number on it. So, next step is to call my doctor first thing Monday and pray.

*College*
With the crap from above and a few other things I’ve fallen a little behind in college and will be busting my ass off as much as I can up until the time I leave for my trip/vacation. I’m sorry Matt, I’m trying my best to catch up and make this up.

*Travel*
This upcoming trip is partly the cause of stress I’ve had since it put me in a time crunch for the medical stuff above and a few other things, but I think once the trip starts it will really give me a change to get some of the relaxation I need. I’m going to be spending pretty much a week out in Nevada just relaxing (and still trying to keep up or get ahead with my college work). I can’t wait until I get to leave and I just hope everything goes great (or ‘well’ at least) 🙂

*Gadgets*
Since I’ll be traveling this month and I was eligible for an upgrade with Verizon I ordered the new Droid X to replace my original Droid but they’re currently back ordered and if I remember correct they wont be shipping it until the 18th or 19th… that sucks, but still nice upgrade (although it’s not shipping for a couple weeks they already billed me the cost of the upgrade).
Got a new ‘toy’, the “Digital Entertainer Live” by Netgear, which essentially allows you to stream video and other media from the internet or a local computer directly to your TV… Sounds all well and good and after running the 2 separate 6-part updates it seemed to work great. Hell, it even played the copy of the South Park movie that the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 spaz on over the network. The only real problem(s) I found with it is that it’d be more useful in the living room to have a centralized device instead of having to jump back and forth on the game consoles to play some files that one system may not like, but since I’m not going to run that long of an Ethernet cable and the device can use a Wireless USB device I figured all is well, but the device is coded with a lock that will only allow one of three different Netgear wireless devices, none of which I have or willing to pay for since that’s bullshit to use that form of hardware lock. Anyway, after I finish writing the review I’ll probably send it back since I don’t have any good use for it in my room and like I said, not going to run that long of an Ethernet cable and no way I’m going to waste time looking online for one of the very specific Netgear Wireless device that would pretty much only be good when used with the Netgear DE-Live.
Sometime after I finish college I plan on adding a new page to the blog that’s dedicated to some of the random gadgets I own or would like to own, for example talking about some apps I really enjoy for my iPad or for use on my Android based Cell Phone (will be a Droid X by then). I also plan on adding a part to that page that is essentially hardware reviews and previews of things I either get or use for myself and/or my company.

*Birthdays*
Today (Aug. 7th) is Squirts special birthday and since she knows about how my luck has been the last couple days she understands why I did what I did. Anyway, Happy Birthday, I promise to make it up to you.

*Game Plan*
As you may have noticed lately I tend to keep the same format for the individual topic heads, well the original game plan mentioned in the last post was that the first post each month I would essentially do the same topics in the same order and just do updates about whatever I missed and the reason for it only sticking for the first post each month (although I’ll probably make it a habit) is so that I can include things like Birthdays which obviously will change often, but wont always include everyone, I’ll add them as friends/etc. remind me of their birthdays. I also plan on migrating some of the things into additional pages on the blog so that a few of the things are more organized, but that might have to wait until I’m done with college since I’m so swamped right now playing catch up because of all the crap.

*Quote of the Moment*
Quote 1: > When life gives you lemons… go fuck yourself.
Quote 2: > Why do people insist bad things come in threes? They should be more realistic and say twelve. (PQ)

*Updates/Upgrades*
I’ve sprinkled some of the intentions throughout this post but I’ll get to more later, especially the things I mentioned/hinted at in the last post.

Upgrades… and apologies

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I’ve had a bunch of things I’ve wanted to post about for a few weeks now but haven’t for a few reasons. First off, the two classes I mentioned in the last post ended on the 10th and I’ve been on ‘summer vacation’ since. The main problem with this is that a few weeks ago (Week 2 of those classes) a lot of shit went wrong and just kept getting worse.

Due to privacy I wont get into much, but I’ll just say her mother is doing better and will be released from the hospital this Friday (she’s been there for about a month) and some things will go back to normal. While I was helping her with her family medical issues I had a few more of my own and thankfully those have been taken care of (as far as I can tell). As I stated on my Facebook page I’ve started taking Anti-Depressants (about fucking time someone realized I needed them) and not sure if they’ve ‘kicked in’ yet since I was told it would take at least three weeks and that’s roughly how long I’ve been taking them so far. I have noticed that I don’t seem to feel as depressed, but I feel this weird melancholy where I keep getting an urge to go somewhere or do something, but once I get around to it, I don’t feel like doing it. It’s hard to explain but some really stupid things have made me feel kind of happy, yet other things that should, don’t…

Anyway, on to the title of this post…
Upgrades…
I’ve been moving a lot of things around on the server to accommodate some new sites and new features so for the time being the sites will appear as normal when using the .net version, but the .com will show the new sites (as the DNS propagates). Once that’s completed I’ll switch the .net to match. I’m also upgrading this blog but there’s a small database issue (actually it’s more with DNS), so for now the new version will be on the .com until I import the database from this one (and edit this post)
More on the upgrades, etc. later

Apologies…
First, I’d like to apologize to Rebecca since she continued to be supportive through everything that was going on and I still screwed up… If the college sets it up so that you’re my instructor again I’ll do everything in my power to make up for it.
Angelica, Bernie, JP, Shawn, Ed, etc… Sorry I haven’t been around, obviously I’ve been busy. 🙁
Todd, Nick, Nathan, and anyone else that has called/txt’d lately when I haven’t responded… Deal with it… 😛

The above DNS proagation should be complete by 7am EST at the latest (my guess) and if I’m still awake I’ll attempt to finish and make another post with the rest of the info I planned on posting, including some photos and other stuff.

How I feel?

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How my life feels...It’s after midnight and I wanted to get another quick post in before I get back to my school work. (Yes, I’m just taking a short break.) I have to finish watching the last Live Chat that I missed last week due to the transfer so that I can get working on writing the rest of an IP.

The real reason I’m writing another post this soon from the last one is as the title says: “How I feel?” Well, as I briefly mentioned in the last post about chest pains, it was stress induced so I agreed to talk to a psychiatrist and figured this is way freakin’ cheaper! 🙂 I’m not looking for comments, just venting. The image on the right kind of describes how I feel, but I’ll let you figure out if I’m talking about the window or the frame.

Nathan has been a great friend, letting me vent whenever I need it and he’s around, while it’s a pain in the ass to get a hold of anyone else. Even the people that were on vacation and didn’t do any traveling, they still managed to be too busy when we talked more than once about hanging out. I’m not mad, just a little disappointed.

So, let’s start off by describing what feelings a ‘normal’ person should have and compare that to what I think I may have:

Financial Security Disability doesn’t pay shit; College is expensive as hell; not allowed to work, you do the math
Loved by others Not that I know of…
In love with someone else Yes, but I could never tell her
Socially Accepted At a red light, heading home from my treatment, someone heard the music (in Yiddish) in my car and yelled “Terrorist”
Pressure to succeed College is stressful, the little I can do for my company is suffering
Love Life What’s a love life? I don’t remember…

I might add some more to that later, cause it’s depressing. Well, Robin Williams was just on TV and I actually laughed a bit, so I lost my train of thought.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , ,