Tag Archives: Medical

Surgeries, Relay for Life, other things…

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*Medical*
As mentioned in the last post, I had a consult with a doctor (April 22nd) for a series of surgeries that were long overdue. It took awhile for my insurance to give authorization, but I had the first surgery on June 3rd and everything went well. They knocked me out for it, so other than some swelling, there wasn’t too much pain. After which, they scheduled my second surgery for July 20th (later today) but thankfully there was a cancellation back on July 1st so I had the second surgery at that point and there was a lot more pain this time around since they didn’t knock me out and had to cut the bone in a few places. I still have to deal with them at least one more time before they’re done, but thankfully all of the surgeries should be done. There is a possibility that the second surgery was done improperly (the way they cut the bone) and I have to see another doctor and a lawyer to see if they deem it malpractice or if it’s just a case of ‘well, it wasn’t what we expected, but we technically didn’t do anything wrong’. The biggest problem I’ve had the last month and a half is the antibiotics they gave me after each surgery has severe side effects with my other medications, so I had to cut them cold turkey to take the other. I finished them the first time around and got back on my normal meds thinking it wasn’t that bad cause I had over a month before I had to do it again, but it ended up being maybe a week back on the meds before having to switch again. Anyway, that’s over with and I’ve been back on my normal meds for a little over a week now and I’m starting to feel better again but still have the occasional pain (which is nowhere near as bad as the back pain I usually have, so it’s not too bad). Next up, I have a few other things I want to ‘fix’ about myself but will probably prioritize my foot.

Oh, and because of my diet change due to the surgeries, I’ve lost pretty much all the weight gain I had with the other medication (which they switched to a different kind if I didn’t mention that already).

*Gadgets*
Is it considered a gadget if it’s headlights for your car? I had an issue a month or so back with the passenger side light going out because of the wiring and now it’s the driver side, so I found a set of factory replacements (entire assembly) on Amazon that will arrive next week. I guess there’s no night driving until then because I don’t want to get pulled over a second time since I probably won’t be as lucky and get a ticket.
As far as real gadgets, I’m still looking for a used Mac for sale (has to be able to run Yosemite) so I can get back to writing iOS apps. I’m guessing the Mac Mini would be the most cost effective, but can’t really afford to spend money on a system right now. If someone has a Mac that runs Yosemite but doesn’t want to sell it, maybe we can work out a deal allowing me either remote or direct access to the system to allow the Objective-C compiling. (They have to allow me to install XCode and have admin access to it.)

*Programming*
As briefly mentioned above, I’ve been writing iOS apps in Objective-C but currently have no way of compiling the code to really test. I am however getting back to writing the framework I mentioned in the last post after about 2 months of inactivity (mainly due to the surgery and not being able to concentrate). I’m going to push the branch probably this weekend with the Template Engine, a few other helper classes, and the base skeleton view system after I write some documentation about the progress and usage. I have however lost a lot of interest lately in the HTPC community (which is the main point of the framework) so progress will be slowed or the framework itself may be repurposed for some other use.

–Edit–
*Relay for Life*
I wrote it in the title and forgot to write it in the post, but this year’s Relay for Life was last Friday and sadly I forgot and missed it. That makes 2 medals I’m missing from the last 8 years. Makes me wonder if there’s a way I can get the ones I’m missing so I have the full set. I was in Chemotherapy when the Relay happened in 2007, so 2008 was the first time I went. I’d have to check, but I believe 2010 is the other medal I’m missing.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , ,

What the hell……..??

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§ Recent Changes §
I’ve written at least 3 or 4 posts since the Destiny one that I thought I had set to auto post on certain dates, as well as a handful of drafts with ideas, etc. that I wasn’t ready to post and it appears that none of that worked. They obviously didn’t post and the drafts have all disappeared. I know it wasn’t a hacker or someone trolling me… which means I either did something stupid, I don’t remember like deleting the posts or my memory is getting worse. My guess is that latter…

On any note, here’s only a little of what I had written since I can’t for the life of me remember 99% of it. First we’ll start with some of the medical cause it’s always on my mind.

§ Medical §
With the stigma of mental illness, we’ll start by ‘rehashing’ some old posts with new information. I’m too lazy to check the date, but I’ve occasionally talked about another person over the last year or so and have mentioned that they were diagnosed with schizophrenia… I still haven’t asked for permission to talk about ‘them’ specifically, but anyone that knows me personally may be able to venture a guess at who I’m talking about… (please don’t guess publicly). If you haven’t figured it out already, knowing that I’m not only related to him, but we’re close enough for me to be concerned as well since it can be hereditary. Well, the good news so far is that although it took a few months, his doctor’s managed to find the right mixture of medications and doses that not only does he not show many signs of the illness, but he’s actually changed and became more sociable then he had been prior in his life. It’s a struggle every day, not just for him, but for all of us involved, and it’s gotten to the point that most of my medical issues are ‘put on the back burner’ as they say. I don’t mean this is a “Hey, I’m sick too, pay attention to me…” or anything along those lines since I’m sure I could come up with better reasons for people to pay attention to me and trust me, I hate being sick and dealing with all the issues I have.

Keeping that in mind, this is my blog after all, so might as well update you on a bunch of my fucked up problems too… It’s been about 4 or 5 months since I started seeing a psychiatrist (again) and it seems to be helping although we haven’t really talked about anything specific really. For example after I originally got sick my doctor (oncologist) advised to me to go because of the inherent depression and/or denial most Cancer patients initially feel and that doctor (psychiatrist) said in our very first meeting something along the lines with: “Let me start by saying, I don’t have cancer so I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through and if it’s something you want to talk about, we can, however I suggest, at least for now, we focus on non-cancer related issues because it ‘may’ help in the long run.” And for some reason, that statement just clicked and although we didn’t ignore the cancer, instead we started out talking about my experiences in the Military and moved on to some other general topics, giving me a feeling of ‘normalcy’ instead of the typical ‘Why me?’ that a lot of people go through. Fast forward to the current doctor and none of the medical stuff has really come up… (yet). We did the typical start where they ask the basic questions about your past and shit (for paperwork, not really for ‘where do we start?’ kind of thing) so we talked about the military for like 20 minutes total, some other ‘big’ events in my life, yadda yadda yadda… and the main focus most of the time is about a 50/50 split between a girl or about the fact that over the years, I’ve pretty much stopped going out and socializing, never have any friends over… barely have any contact other than the occasional conversation online or going to/from different doctors. There’s been times where I was just like “Fuck it, I’ll just go to a bar and see who’s around” but either something comes up (no money, too much pain) or I get there and the fucking place is empty so there’s no one to talk to anyway and I’m not going to spend $2.50 – $4.00 per beer when I could buy some and drink alone at home drowning my sorrows… which defeats the purpose.

Not that anyone would care, the girl mentioned isn’t a potential girlfriend or anything remotely interesting… and I’m only clarifying that because I slipped up and just mentioned my blog to her so there’s a chance she may read this.

Enough of the ‘head shrink’ type of stuff and we’ll move on to the fact that I’m pretty sure my memory is getting even worse and I’ve started to notice other issues I hadn’t seen before. Thankfully I’m not hearing voices or anything along those lines, but I’ve noticed a few times while talking for example I would either slur my speech or outright screw up a word. I’m not talking about a simple Freudian slip, but saying something like I did on a recent phone call where I asked a friend “Can you come over and help me move a pen” when I meant a fucking couch. But the more common thing I’m noticing is my hand-eye coordination which doesn’t seem to be affected while I’m typing for example, but there’s a game on my iPad that I play a lot when I get bored but I’ve noticed that when I reach to touch a box I swear my eyes see my finger over the correct thing, but when I touch the screen I’ve either hit the box on the right or above the one I want… I’ve tested the sensors on the iPad and confirmed it’s not the device malfunctioning but it’s my sight. I can’t even play the game with my right hand anymore because my hand will shake too much that I can’t keep my finger steady (I’m left-handed) and it makes it so I can’t play while laying on my left side which most of the time is the more comfortable position for my back and leg. Thankfully at this stage it only appears to be an issue when I’ve been awake too long so it might just be as simple as that, but having insomnia for around 15 years now I’m unsure what is ‘sleep deprivation’ or potentially something scarier.

As I stated, thankfully I’m not at the point where I’m hearing voices, but I do hear some noises that I have no real proof if they’re real or not since most of the time when I ‘think’ I heard something, it’s usually something in the distance and never really gives me a ‘that could be someone talking’ type feel, it’s more like a tapping noise or other sound that can usually be explained away.

Enough depressing crap, let’s move on to something new that I’m doing to help keep my mind off the above…
§ Replacement to College §
I finished college years ago at this point, but while working on a new project last week I got stuck trying to deal with some database injection among other things. It turned out that the imports I had written worked fine but due to some PDO limitations I couldn’t do everything required via AJAX and had to rewrite parts of the database to accommodate the changes. While doing research on the problems I decided to check some of the tutorial sites I’ve used in the past like Udemy and although none of the free stuff they had would give me the required knowledge I had some coupon codes that allowed me to purchase over $2,000 worth of courses for a very sizable discount. Udemy isn’t just for programmers, the have all sorts of courses covering Photography, Learning languages, Health & Fitness, Music and more… some are even free. With full disclosure, Udemy has not sponsored or endorsed anything said here, but if you click this link, and sign up you can receive $5 in credit towards your first course.

§ Closing §
There’s a lot more that I had written and amazingly there’s still some that I remember, but it’s almost 5am so I’m going to post what I have so far and create some voice memos to remind me of the other topics and will hopefully remember to write again soon.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , ,

A “Special Edition” post…

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*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
Was watching “Salt” (2010) (sadly, my subtitles for the Russian didn’t work), followed by “Due Date” (2010).

*Random Question*
If the movie “Due Date” was real, since Zach’s character caused most of the ‘issues’, how much, if any, legal trouble would Robert’s character be in when everything was all said and done?

I’ve slowly been migrating to a centralized format for my blog posts and I kind of like doing it via the headings like the one above. However, as you noticed, I’m just writing this time and there’s a semi-good reason for that.

We’re almost done with the third month of the year and I have little to show for it… no ‘real’ New Year’s resolutions to speak of and even if I had them, I’d probably broken most, if not all of them by now anyway, that’s why I gave up on that tradition years ago. Hell, I’m a 30-year-old guy that has been essentially sitting on my ass for the last four years, not because of being lazy (although I am in a lot of aspects) but due to a genetic crap shoot that almost ruined my life.

It’s weird that people diagnosed with cancer tend to tell time in a different way, some count days or weeks since diagnosis, others count from official day of remission… well, as of today (2011/03/22) it was 1,513days or 216weeks 1day since I was originally diagnosed and although I’m getting healthier again, my life has changed so much that to a certain point, some aspects are over and there’s no getting any of it back.

Throughout my life I’ve only done a small handful of things I’m proud of, serving in the Navy being the largest… but there’s many things in my life that saying I’m not proud of would be a vast understatement. If you know me, even if you pretend to know me, you probably can think of a pile of things in that list, but do me a favor, don’t remind me, don’t bring any of it up with others… I want to attempt to leave the past where it should be. The largest thing screwing with me about all these thoughts I’ve had is that my memory over the last four years is spotty at best, partly from “Chemo Fog“/”Chemo Brain” and apparently some genetic things I should have had to contend with for many more years (Alzheimer’s). Over the last week couple weeks, things have been hard hitting about my life, my choices, my friends, my family… it’s getting to the point I may have to seek help again.

I just hope that if I seek out a new pyschiatrist, it will work this time, although the last time I talked with one I didn’t have as much ‘baggage’ to talk to them about and it didn’t help that the supposedly unbiased ‘doctor’ turned out to be a lacky that took one semester at a community college and was someone from the past of one of my parents. I would normally justify a comment like that with “not saying they said/did anything wrong” however there were times while talking to them they brought my parent into it when it obviously had nothing to do with them. For example, I remember one week entering their office with my left hand wrapped up in an ACE bandage or something from punching a guy that essentially attacked a female friend of mine. Instead of asking something about “How’d you hurt your hand?” they asked when the last time I saw my parents. {Before anyone gets any ideas, I’m not being specific on this idiot for a reason, and NO it has nothing to do with any form of abuse from/against anyone, last I heard that ‘psychiatrist’ was fired anyway, so whatever}

To keep the rest of this post on some form of rational flow I figured I’d go through the posts I’ve made so far this year and just do updates to crap I’ve already brought up instead of bringing up a new pile of shit that is my life.

*College*
I ‘finished’ the two classes I was in (which I have to repeat again) and I’m not exactly sure what’s going on or how I’m going to proceed since there was a break last week and when I logged in yesterday for my class it says I’m not in any classes right now and if I check on my Academics Schedule where it normally lists the classes start and end date just says “Future” for start date. The last few months of college have been very stressful, with a mix of stress, lack of time from doctor appointments and other random crap going on, even to a small amount of “Van Wilder Syndrome”. The Medical section may give you a little insight to some of this.

*Work*
See new “Dates” area for a few details of office closings.
We’ve added a few more ways to donate to our team for Relay for Life before this summer’s event, but sadly the different ways we utilize don’t communicate with each other, so you’d have to add all the funds between services to get the total and none of them will be accurate (for the overall total). This is yet another reason I didn’t want to split it up, but some people seem to have issues with certain types of donations, maybe for tax reasons, personal privacy, or whatever. In any case, we will annouce the overall total sometime closer to the actual Relay which will be held July 15th.

*Medical*
I brought up a few things last post (Feb. 16) and figured I’d expand on them a bit more. At this point, I’m positive I managed to piss off at least one of the doctors as shit has gone downhill even more. Let’s run a quick timeline of the last month…

  • Feb. 13th – My regular Jan-Feb script for pain meds ran out.
  • Feb. 15th – Had appointment with the pain management clinic I mentioned in the boonies.
  • Feb. 15th – Saw my primary care to request different PM setup, promised a call in 24hr.
  • Feb. 16th – Got a call with a promise for different arrangments… they never followed through.
  • I have never taken any drugs that were not perscription and have never abused those that were…
    however, when you stop any drug this abruptly… Withdrawl is a BITCH…
  • Mar. 4th – Around this day is when I stopped popping Ibeprofun like Tic-Tacs… not because of decrease in pain, but worries for my internal orgin.

*Birthdays* – Will be replaced with with “Dates” section.
Mainly due to a few jackasses bitching at me, I’m going to give up this section and only post birthdays in which there are other relevant reasons for it… a party, important age, whatever. P.S. You’re a douche Donny.

*Dates* – B = Birthday; E = Event; W = Weekend; X = Closed

Holiday/Event Date Notes Marker
President’s Day February 21   X
Ash Wednesday March 9    
Daylight Savings March 13 Annoying as shit W
St. Patrick’s Day March 17    
Purim Multi Sundown March 19 through Sundown March 20 W
First Day of Spring March 20    
April Fool’s Day April 1    
Passover Multi Sundown April 18 through Sundown April 26 X

*Gadgets*
Instead of repeating what I’ve already mentioned in previous posts about the phone, iOS, etc. I’ll just point out that as I figured, I’m blowing most of my iTunes cash on apps instead of music. As of the last check I did, according to iTunes I have 19GB of apps installed on the iPad and 7.9GB installed on the ViPhone… less than 5GB of free space left on the ViPhone as well, which may make me rethink some of the memory hog apps and even removing images from the phone since I have those on the iPad as well, but I’ve had times where I’ve been out and about and wanted to show something off to realize that my iPad is home and my phone is in my pocket.

Back in January I mentioned Gelaskins and not that long ago I managed to score some sweet ones for a few of my devices. I was going to showcase them kind of like how I did the three in that post, but instead figured I’d like to their product pages to send them the traffic. For my ViPhone, iPad, Playstation 3, Xbox 360 S, and my laptop.

The new eSATA Tower is working out great and with the extra storage capacity has actually helped with some of my automation routines since it gives me a larger ‘scratch‘ area while processing. I’d cringe to think how it would have been if it was USB 2.0 or almost cry if it was still the USB 1.1 days.

*Travel*
Due to recent financial set backs, I’ve had to pretty much abaondon any hopes of travel, personal, business, pleasure, etc. for the forseeable future. 🙁 Stupid car, stupid bills, stupid me…..

*Updates/Upgrades*
For people that use WordPress for their blogs (Third Party/Private Server, not on WordPress.com) and use the Stats Plugin (version 1.8.1 or lower) and have noticed their stats are now broken on some, if not all, of their blogs, this is a known issue. If you dig around their support forums you’ll probably find posts telling you to email their support or use the contact page, which in my case, like others was kind of useless as it appears either a bot catches the message or the responder just doesn’t seem to ‘get’ what is being said and asking for more information when you’ve already given enough. Anyway, to fix this issue (at least it worked for me and was reported as working by others) is to grab the new “Jetpack” plugin by WordPress which gives you a newer version of the stats plugin (in turn fixing the issue) and many other cool features, additions. Do yourself a favor and at least check the site out if you host your own… Since I don’t host any blogs with WordPress.com directly I’m not sure what, if any, help this plugin will do for those people as it’s promoted for those that host elsewhere, so if you use their direct service and install this, bitch/praise them if it borks/fixes something. I’m going to look into it more later, but it appears if I configure all the stuff that comes with Jetpack I can probably dump some of the other plugins used and give it more of a unified feel.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

My car… and a Charity

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*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
The South Park Movie – Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

*Quote of the Moment*
Saddam: “Let’s start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing!”
Cartman: “Hey, don’t call me fat, butt fucker!” {Lightning shoots from Cartman’s hands}
Kyle: “Yeah Cartman, Do It!”
Cartman: “Damn, Shit, Respect my fucking authority”
Saddam: {Screams} “Hey, you need to watch your mouth brat!”
Cartman: “Dog shit taco”
Saddam: {Screams more} “Quick Satan, do something”
Cartman: “Try this on for size….. Blood Drips, Frozen Tampon Popsicle”
Saddam: “Hey buddy, I know I was mean before, but don’t worry, I can change!”
Satan: “Oh!”
Cartman: {Sarcastic} “Ok”
Most of the entire cast: {gasps}
Cartman: “Not…. …. Fuck, Shit, Cock, Ass, Titties, Boner, Bitch, Moth Pussy, Cock, Butthole, Barbara Streisand”
Saddam: {Screaming in agony} {To Satan:} “What are you waiting for bitch, destroy him!”
Saddam: {To Satan:} “Come on you weak stupid cum bucket, save me!”
Satan: “That’s it, I have had enough of you” {Throws Saddam into the pit of hell}

*College*
A few nights ago, I spent somewhere around 5-7 hours writing different papers for my Cultural Diversity class and I wanted to thank Nathan for being the great friend he is and keeping me on point with my homework by keeping me from getting distracted and also to bounce a couple ideas off, of things I wasn’t 100% sure if I understood or something I just read wrong apparently. Ironically chatting about stuff that wasn’t even relevant for the assignments gave me ideas that I wouldn’t have normally had. Similar to the way Hugh Laurie’s character of Gregory House gets inspiration from the oddest things on the show House. As far as my other class, I’ve finished writing the framework for my new portfolio site and have it running on my test server but don’t want to move it to the production server and main domain until I add more and tweak it out a bit more.

*Work*
Tuesday the 15th was the Survivor’s Dinner for this year’s Relay for Life but sadly due to a useless trip I had to make for a doctor’s appointment (will explain below) I wasn’t able to make it to the dinner and as far as I know it was still held on schedule.
Either way, with the Relay being 149 days away (from the time of this post) we now have two ways of donating

  • My Relay for Life personal donation page
  • Via the link near the top left of the blog. When using this link; the company “GoFundMe” which provides the service; takes a 5% cut, but the remaining 95% is collected and added manually to the personal donation page.

As many of you know, in my personal life, I’ve been trying my best to show my support to The American Cancer Society, mainly with the “Relay for Life” since I was diagnosed back in January 2007. Originally I was collecting donations via Word-of-Mouth and presenting them throughout the year, either by a check to their local office or in person at one of their events. However this year, I’ve decided to ‘step it up’ in hopes that I/we’ll be able to donate more money, more often.
If collecting donations via GoFundMe works out, we may randomly cycle through a few different charities throughout the year and possibly figure out a way for our customers to help in deciding which charities are featured.

*Medical*
There’s been non-stop medical issues, complications, doctor appointments, etc. so far this year, but thankfully once the latest few things get straightened out the rest of the way, things should calm down sometime soon. I’m pretty sure I pissed off one of my doctors last month because after I got the last refill on my medications he stated he would no longer prescribe my medications and instead I would have to see an actual pain management specialist from now on. The problem with that is by the time they were able to get me a doctor for that I was scheduled for my initial appointment 62 hours after I ran out of medication and the doctor was in a really inconvenient location that was all hills and shitty roads full of pot holes. A.) My back, stomach, and bladder can’t handle that kind of drive. B.) My car can’t handle that kind of drive. C.) Even with GPS, it’s “Boonies” enough to still get lost… and D.) You get the idea.
So after I made the drive over there today, I explained to them that I wouldn’t be able to do that, so they called my primary care doctor to inform them and I stopped there on the way home, however my doctor wasn’t in the office today so they claim someone will give me a call tomorrow to let me know what’s going on… I guess I’m going to have to continue popping Ibuprofen like tic-tac’s and pray that it keeps enough of the pain at bay, if they don’t figure something out tomorrow I’ll have to head back to the Emergency Room and see what they tell me, but probably wont help me much in the long run.
I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and may contact my back specialist to start a new round of treatments since the services they provided seemed to be the most helpful yet, granted I’ll most likely wait until I finish college so they don’t interfere with each other anymore.

*Birthdays*
Christina – Feb. 15

*Gadgets*
Pre-Ordered my Verizon iPhone (32GB) at 2:47am on Feb. 3rd, a full 13 minutes before the pre-order officially started and I received it on the 7th. I love Android devices, don’t get me wrong, but to me, the largest benefit to the iPhone is the fact I already have an iPod Touch (64GB 3rd Gen.) and an iPad (64GB Wifi) so I no longer have to buy a second copy of a program specific to my phone when I most likely already owned a similar app for another device.
I finally got my 4-bay eSATA RAID Tower that I plan on JBOD’ing with a few 2TB drives to add some more storage on the Media Server. Although I probably wont do a write up on the new eSATA tower, I may still get around to doing a write up on the Media Server Automation that I have setup on the Windows 7 Ultimate x64 tower. Depends on how well I can concentrate on doing it… and how lazy I feel at the time, so you never know.

*Travel*
I’ll potentially be out of town for a few days this weekend, depends on if I can get away or not, but if I can, it should be peaceful.

*Updates/Upgrades*
Got some great ideas coming up before the end of the month, will let you know details later.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , ,

Spam, Gadgets, Doctors, and College… (not in order)

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*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
Finished a 4 hour Smodcast Marathon and now watching the newest episode of Kevin Rose’s Foundation (Guest this week, Jeff Smith of Smule)

*Quote of the Moment*
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. – Henry Adams (1838 – 1918)

*College*
On Monday (2/7) I started both Cultural Diversity and my Portfolio Presentation classes, so I sent the usual email to my Professors about my medical stuff and a few other pieces of important info like I always do and they both responded the way everyone else has. For some strange reason when I logged into the campus last night to write some of my Discussion Board I noticed they changed my instructor for my Diversity class without telling me, so I shot off a new email to her as well before writing something like 5 or 6 DB’s (only required to write one for today per class). Obviously haven’t gotten anything back yet for that, but oh well, after my doctor appointment later today I’m going to visit a few people out of town and going to have them give me a hand (mainly for concentration reasons) with some of the homework before I go to class tonight.

*Work*
As most of you know, for the past few years we have been supporting the Relay for Life, held by the American Cancer Society and this year is no different. On Tuesday, February 15th the Kickoff Event starts in the Community Room of SUNY Morrisville (Norwich Campus) at 5pm with the Survivors Dinner, with the Opening Ceremony starting at 6:30pm at the Fairgrounds where they are normally held. As always, we’re trying to raise money for the event and all donations are welcome. (We donate multiple times throughout the year if you’d like to donate but can’t get the money in on time.)

*Medical*
I’ve been going through the next steps for a majority of the issues I’m dealing with now and things are going well for the most part, things are advancing but some of it slower than I’d like. As people may have noticed from prior posts, I normally don’t have any issues talking about my personal or medical issues, etc. but a majority of what I’m dealing with now, I’ll probably be vague at best if I bother to post on it since there are a few things I’d like to keep personal in my life.

*Birthdays*
No one’s name pops in my head right this second and I’m too lazy to look right now, so if your birthday is this month, let me know and I’ll add it, otherwise… :p

*Gadgets*
As of a few hours ago, Verizon and Apple have opened up their ordering systems for the new CDMA based Verizon iPhone and it requires the latest version of iTunes to be able to activate it. Since I got my 32GB Verizon iPhone back on the 7th I must say, it’s just as I thought it would be… I’m not going to go into the whole “OMG, it’s an iPhone on Verizon” or even a normal “iPhone… yay!” type crap, I’m just glad that since I already have an iPad and iPod Touch I no longer have to purchase a second copy of a program just to use it on my phone which is what I had to do on my Android based Droid X. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the Android OS, but as stated, I’m sick of buying a secondary copy of an app just to have that functionality since I most likely have something similar for my iPad/iPod. I guess it also helps that I managed to sell my Droid X to a friend of mine (with accessories) for roughly what I ended up paying for the iPhone, so it worked out great.
I’ve also got the new drives for the Media Server in and I’m just waiting on the new NAS RAID (eSATA) box to arrive (should be here by Friday) so that I can migrate some of the drives out of the tower and JBOD them into the NAS box (for power consumption reasons) but this will allow me more room for airflow in the server box as well.

*Travel*
Currently have an upcoming trip planned where details may be given later, pending on contract negotiations.

*Updates/Upgrades*
Logged in last night to check a couple things and think of a ‘game-plan’ for the current post and noticed that I had 249 spam messages from a lot of morons and a few dumb-asses. After deleting all the spam and upgrading all the plugins I started to write some code for a new project, but hit a little mental road block so I took a break and ended up writing the DB’s that I mentioned above. After the DB’s I talked with a friend on Yahoo for just a bit before starting this post and I keep getting side tracked with everything else going on. But anyway, it’s just after 6:30am so I figured I’m going to attempt a short nap and after I finish my stuff today I may write another post or add more to this one.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Customizations, Opinions, and My Mood? (::Updated::)

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(::UPDATE::)
I know I said I would do the update on Monday after the doctors, but for some reason I was hyper as hell that entire day and felt very weird. Anyway, I didn’t get home until kind of late, got side tracked with schoolwork and a project, then to top it off when I finally fell asleep around 4 or 5am I pretty much slept ALL of Tuesday away. I got up once around 5:45pm when a friend stopped by and woke me up, I used that time to have a pee break, apologized to him, sending him away and going back to sleep. I got up around 4am this morning (Wed.) and have felt like hell. In fact, less then 5 minutes before signing on to update this post I was standing on my porch (can’t smoke in doors) and vomiting over the railing, no clue why, but it’s typical in my life these days.

*What I’m Watching or Listening to Now*
“Wicked Lake” (2008) – So far this is a really messed up movie… can’t really call it a ‘horror’ movie, but it’s about as far from a ‘family’ movie as you get. Since I’m working on other stuff and writing this I’m not overly paying attention, but what I’m assuming are all family members (the guys) all need to die for being this screwed in the head and the stuff they’re doing to the hotties. ::Update:: Turns out the hotties were some kind of creatures that killed all those asshole dudes. hehe.

*Quote of the Moment*
“Welcome to Mexico!”
“I’m in Mexico?”
“Well, technically you’re in Southern California, but who the fuck can tell the difference anymore?”
– From “Rise: Blood Hunter” (2007)

*College*
As I mentioned in a previous post there was a class I had taken that I failed, partly because of doctor appointments (a.k.a. lack of time), partly because of my depression screwing with my concentration and motivation, and partly because this class is a continuation of a previous one and the ‘refresher’ wasn’t exactly coming back to me, so I know what I’m doing, but I was too damn frustrated trying to remember how to do it. Anyway, the point of that is I’m in that class again and I think this time around I’m starting to remember and for some odd reason just feeling overall ‘better’ about it this time around. The only issues I’m having now is that I’ve managed to move doctor appointments mostly to a single day per week, so that day is obviously useless as far as getting work done, but the tremors in my hands (and legs) keep me frustrated enough that I can’t draw the required illustrations for my projects, hell, I can’t even trace images well enough for people to not think it was a 2 year old that did it. Class starts in 10 minutes.

*Work*
I’ll be adding (at minimum) two new projects by weeks end that should go live by the end of the month. Beta testers needed and more details will be provided to those that qualify. ::Update:: One project scraped due to time issues, but still need testers for the other one.

*Medical*
A large pile of appointments throughout the month, but thankfully I managed to stockpile a majority on Mondays and Thursdays as opposed to having them on random days/times that can screw with everything else in what I’m forced to call “My Life”.

*Birthdays*
Russ on Jan. 29th
I couldn’t find anyone that I had birthday information on in my address book, so if I missed yours let me know for next time.

*Gadgets* ::Updated::
So, Verizon finally made it’s official announcement that it’s bring the iPhone 4 to its network and once it goes on Pre-Order Feb. 3rd I’ll be ordering one of those. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Android OS (especially on my Droid X) but since I already have an iPod Touch and iPad I figured why be forced to by apps for Android when I probably have something that already works for the iPhone. Another incentive is that Marc broke his original Droid and doesn’t have insurance, so instead of paying a butt load to fix his (busted screen, but still works) he’s going to buy my newer Droid X and I’ll use that money to offset most of the iPhone cost. Only crap part is that the new iPhone’s wont start shipping until Feb. 10th, but at least it’s not on that joke network… *cough, cough* AT&T *cough, cough*.

From images of the Verizon iPhone compared to the AT&T version it appears there were a few changes, most notably an antenna fix (for the ‘death grip’) and the fact that it now runs on a CDMA network, but I’ve been looking at some “Gelaskins” for the device (among others) and wanted some reader opinion. All three of the images below were taken from Gelaskins website and will be removed upon their request if required (yes, I did NOT ask for permission to use the images, but at least I’m not hotlinking and wasting their bandwidth).


Some of the other Gelaskins I’m looking at for other devices may make it onto the Projects/Gadgets page, but most likely not until I purchase them (or get a nice surprise gift)

*Travel* ::Updated::
I was supposed to have two conferences this month (one in NY and one in PA) but thankfully the one in PA was rescheduled and the NY one isn’t that far of a drive, I may just say screw it and turn it into a long ass day trip instead of staying overnight. To hell with over priced hotel rooms when it’s only a 2 or 3 hour drive away. ::Update:: I managed to lose the paperwork for the NY meeting so I guess I’m not going to that one either this month… oh well, they know my medical history and it’s not like I get in trouble if I’m a no-show, they just carry on like it doesn’t matter.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I just want to cry….

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As soon as I’m done writing this, I’ll be working on some college work until I pass out most likely. This post might be kind of a cluster of crap since I originally had a ‘game plan’ on how I wanted to organize the post, which I planned on using that layout for the first post each month, kind of an ‘all around’ update so it had kind of a similar feel each month. Well, between the last post and this one things went from bad to worse… shit has hit the fan and it’s spraying ALL over the place…

Hell, things change so fast… between when I started to write this post and what I’m writing now, I ended up going back to the hospital and to the police station… I’ll get to the ‘normal’ stuff in a bit, but I’ll start with a few of the big ones… With all this new shit, I wont bother going into the stuff I mentioned in the last post as this one will be long enough, so I’ll do that part later.

*Medical*
A little back story to the current situation:
Back in 2006 I had a normal ‘primary care’ doctor that sent me to a different hospital to get some scans. Long story short on that part was that I ended up going to an Oncologist and was diagnosed with Cancer. About a month into my cancer treatments my primary care doctor retired so I essentially went to my Oncologist for everything and after I finished Chemotherapy is when I damaged my spine. My Oncologist ended up prescribing me my pain medication that I’ve been on for over two years now, but my ‘normal’ Oncologist ended up having his own medical problems recently and is currently in the hospital waiting on a transplant list (I wont go into deeper details for his privacy). Anyway, with the main Oncologist not able to do his work they finally got around to bringing in a new ‘main’ Oncologist. This new guy changed some policies but none of the patients were notified until they went in and were like “Um, what?”. The main new policy change states that no prescriptions will be written for pain medication if it’s not 100% cancer related, as in the person has cancer that causes pain and can not be operated on, or the patient is actively going through Chemotherapy or Radiation and even then, the medications will be as low of a dose as possible.
This new policy change wouldn’t bother me and in fact makes perfect sense with all the rampant drug abuse in the area… hell, some druggies in this area have not only resorted to robbery/theft, but it’s led to violence in some cases. I’m all for this new policy to help cut down on availability of controlled substances that people abuse like crazy, but it would have been nice for them to give people a bit of a heads up so that what happened, shouldn’t have. Now, although my spinal issues were a result of having a weakened body from Chemotherapy, it’s not actually due to cancer. For those that don’t know much about the way it works for Controlled Substances, is that you get your prescription like normal, but they NEVER have refills available on the bottle, so you have to go back and see your doctor every month to continue receiving the medication, again, this wasn’t a problem for me since I have a valid reason for having it and have the pain to warrant it. Every month I would call early the week that I would run out to give them a reminder/heads up, and normally the day before I was out I would drive the 45 miles to pick up the prescription (again, being a controlled substance Doctors can NOT phone in this style medication to help cut down on druggies making fake phones calls or whatever other scam they plan on using).
Now here’s where the new policy screwed things up, since it wasn’t technically cancer related they could no longer renew my meds and told me (four days before I was going to run out) that I had to go through my primary care or have them refer me to a pain management program since my spinal issues are going to essentially be chronic (life long). I no longer had a primary care doctor since my original one retired/quit/whatever so I was able to get a new primary care about a month ago (after the last refill though) and they are the ones that prescribed the anti-depressants I mentioned. (Backtrack a little) On Wednesday I tried to call my Oncologist and kept getting a busy signal so I went to their office and that’s when I was informed about the new policy so I drove to where my new primary care doctor was and was informed that my doctor was currently out having surgery (having it, not performing it) and that the other doctor was doing double duty since he had to cover her patients as well and they said they couldn’t fit me in for at least a week and a half, but I’m going to be out of state pretty much all of next week. I drove back to the Oncologist as quick as I could with a hope that I could explain to them that my primary care was unavailable and essentially say “Look, if you could do it this one last time, it will give me roughly two weeks after I get back to town to get my primary care to see me and either decide they were going to help or send me to an official pain management place (my Oncologist can’t send me directly to a pain management group because a ‘specialist’ can not refer a patient to another ‘specialist’ without it going through primary care anyway). I managed to make it back to my Oncologists office roughly 5-10 minutes AFTER they all left for the day so I went to the receptionist and said something like “Um, here’s the situation …. have any advice?” and they called a Patient Advocate and handed me the phone. After explaining my situation for like the 4th or 5th time for the day she asked for my phone number and said if I didn’t hear anything by 10am Thursday to call her back. I also spoke to a family member that happens to work at the hospital and asked them for advice as well. Not sure which of the two did it, but someone managed to get the office where my primary care doctor was to call me and although a few hours earlier they said they were fully booked and had nothing I was asked “Can you make it here at 8:45am?” and I was like “Sure, I’ll see you first thing in the morning”. A few hours later I realized I had an appointment to have an oil change on my car at 9am and I accidentally missed the last appointment with them because of doctors, but I figured the oil change wouldn’t change much adding another 100 or so miles on the car before I see them and since I had to be at another doctor appointment (for my back) 45 miles away at 10:30am I just went to the first doctor in the morning and called the garage while sitting in the room waiting on the doctor. It’s kind of funny, I was told that this guy probably wouldn’t write the prescription for me anyway since he’d never seen me before (I normally saw the other doctor there), but we talked for a bit and I gave him my whole history and explained about my trip next week and that’s why I was in a rush to make sure I wasn’t without my meds for a couple weeks, one of which spent out of state where I’m going to be doing a lot of walking which will aggravate my back even more. This doctor was very nice, respectful, etc. and kind of surprised me kind the random things I heard kind of freaked me out. So, the doctor filled it and said when I get back in town to schedule an appointment with the other doctor (which I already had one with her for later in the month) and we’ll get it straight on if they’re going to be responsible for the pain management or if I’ll go to an actual facility or however they do it. Anyway, I took the paper to my normal pharmacy and they didn’t have enough to fill it so I went to two other places, each with the same story, not enough on hand, so I called the phone number of a pharmacy I was at earlier in the day (after the back treatment I stopped to buy new pads for my “Tens Unit”), still have no idea why I didn’t think to ask them the first time I was there, so I ended up wasting a lot of time and about 30 miles or so worth of gas. They had enough so I drove back down there again and gave them the info but they informed me my insurance wouldn’t cover it unless I picked it up the next day so I told them I’d be back in the morning (Friday morning). Friday comes around and I picked up my meds then went home to clean and pack for my trip. The cleaning/packing didn’t last too overly long before I ended up having other shit to deal with, all the while I had forgotten that I left my pill bottle in my car. I ended up leaving to visit a friend in an area that has no cell service and hung out there for awhile (more on that later). At one point I was asked to take two of the kids to go pick up some of her stuff from the place they used to live at and on the way there I drove by an area that had enough service for me to get a text message saying my friend was in the hospital so I hurried the kids up and when we got back and took the stuff inside (thankfully they didn’t make me carry anything) I mentioned the text and said I had to go see how my friend was doing, the same two kids asked if they could go with me and I allowed it. We all made it back to town and since he wasn’t home from the hospital yet we went to Wal-Mart and goofed off a little, but once he got back he txt’d me and I was able to catch up with him to find out he got jumped by a couple guys and he told me about all of his injuries. Once I knew he was relatively ok I took the kids back home and hung out for a bit when all of a sudden I heard over a police scanner that there was an assault near my house and I recognized the info. The guy that jumped my friend went to his house to find him and since he wasn’t there the guy punched his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach and she was in the hospital. I rushed back to town again to see if she was ok and I knew that they would have moved her from the emergency room to maternity on a different floor and having been awake that long my back was already hurting so I looked for my medication while on the way only to find out that my entire pill bottle and a pack of cigarettes were missing from my car (and yes I have proof that neither of the kids stole from me, therefore it was stolen earlier in the day while I was cleaning/packing) so I went to the police station to report the theft and was told by the cop that they were too busy and I should come back in the morning. After leaving the police station I went to the hospital to check on them and the pain was so bad that I stopped at the ER myself to see if they could help and ended up explaining the entire situation a few more times before they gave me something to last me until I can get an official police statement in the morning. *Small Update* Went back to the police station at 8am and talked to a cop that treated me like I was making the whole thing up, yet didn’t really ask any relevant questions and he said “Well we can look into it but I doubt there’s anything we can do” and was going to leave it at that, I had to ask him for something/anything to give my doctor and all he gave me was a post it note, at least it had a case number on it. So, next step is to call my doctor first thing Monday and pray.

*College*
With the crap from above and a few other things I’ve fallen a little behind in college and will be busting my ass off as much as I can up until the time I leave for my trip/vacation. I’m sorry Matt, I’m trying my best to catch up and make this up.

*Travel*
This upcoming trip is partly the cause of stress I’ve had since it put me in a time crunch for the medical stuff above and a few other things, but I think once the trip starts it will really give me a change to get some of the relaxation I need. I’m going to be spending pretty much a week out in Nevada just relaxing (and still trying to keep up or get ahead with my college work). I can’t wait until I get to leave and I just hope everything goes great (or ‘well’ at least) 🙂

*Gadgets*
Since I’ll be traveling this month and I was eligible for an upgrade with Verizon I ordered the new Droid X to replace my original Droid but they’re currently back ordered and if I remember correct they wont be shipping it until the 18th or 19th… that sucks, but still nice upgrade (although it’s not shipping for a couple weeks they already billed me the cost of the upgrade).
Got a new ‘toy’, the “Digital Entertainer Live” by Netgear, which essentially allows you to stream video and other media from the internet or a local computer directly to your TV… Sounds all well and good and after running the 2 separate 6-part updates it seemed to work great. Hell, it even played the copy of the South Park movie that the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 spaz on over the network. The only real problem(s) I found with it is that it’d be more useful in the living room to have a centralized device instead of having to jump back and forth on the game consoles to play some files that one system may not like, but since I’m not going to run that long of an Ethernet cable and the device can use a Wireless USB device I figured all is well, but the device is coded with a lock that will only allow one of three different Netgear wireless devices, none of which I have or willing to pay for since that’s bullshit to use that form of hardware lock. Anyway, after I finish writing the review I’ll probably send it back since I don’t have any good use for it in my room and like I said, not going to run that long of an Ethernet cable and no way I’m going to waste time looking online for one of the very specific Netgear Wireless device that would pretty much only be good when used with the Netgear DE-Live.
Sometime after I finish college I plan on adding a new page to the blog that’s dedicated to some of the random gadgets I own or would like to own, for example talking about some apps I really enjoy for my iPad or for use on my Android based Cell Phone (will be a Droid X by then). I also plan on adding a part to that page that is essentially hardware reviews and previews of things I either get or use for myself and/or my company.

*Birthdays*
Today (Aug. 7th) is Squirts special birthday and since she knows about how my luck has been the last couple days she understands why I did what I did. Anyway, Happy Birthday, I promise to make it up to you.

*Game Plan*
As you may have noticed lately I tend to keep the same format for the individual topic heads, well the original game plan mentioned in the last post was that the first post each month I would essentially do the same topics in the same order and just do updates about whatever I missed and the reason for it only sticking for the first post each month (although I’ll probably make it a habit) is so that I can include things like Birthdays which obviously will change often, but wont always include everyone, I’ll add them as friends/etc. remind me of their birthdays. I also plan on migrating some of the things into additional pages on the blog so that a few of the things are more organized, but that might have to wait until I’m done with college since I’m so swamped right now playing catch up because of all the crap.

*Quote of the Moment*
Quote 1: > When life gives you lemons… go fuck yourself.
Quote 2: > Why do people insist bad things come in threes? They should be more realistic and say twelve. (PQ)

*Updates/Upgrades*
I’ve sprinkled some of the intentions throughout this post but I’ll get to more later, especially the things I mentioned/hinted at in the last post.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

They don’t call it a ‘quickie’ for nothing….

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As many of you guys that read this know, due to all my medical issues my memory isn’t worth much anymore. I’ve had numerous things I wanted to post about for a few days now, hell, there’s a few things I’ve been meaning to post for weeks, but the simplest things can distract me to the point I’ll forget everything I had planned.

A great example was I created a funny video that I planned to upload about three days ago and I’ll get around to doing that tomorrow after I finish my cluster fuck of doctor appointments.

A small heads up for what I planned on writing was about some new gadgets, my trip next week to Nevada, doctors, birthdays, a new ‘plan of attack’ on a specific post idea… well, anyway, I’ve been busting my ass off doing school work between all my running around because of doctors, and speaking of doctors, I have my next doctor appointment in just over 4 hours from now…

………………
Doctors most of the day, schoolwork after, than I’ll make the new post…

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , ,

Betrayal? and other shit (Post Fix)

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I’ve written three or four posts since the last one you can read on here but saved them as drafts and forgot to post them… my bad… anyway, I’m grouping them all together for this post and adding more for the hell of it…

*Birthdays*
I forgot to post back on the 14th when my brother had his birthday… He’s 32 now… not sure what else to say. 🙂

*College*
Things make me wonder if I’ve done something to piss off the college since they gave me my fourth adviser right before I started the last two classes which I know I screwed up horribly but I got an email (on the 20th) from the college telling me I have a new adviser yet again… I guess the fifth time is the charm. The canned email I got from my new adviser has the typical welcome and “I’ll be your adviser for this whole experience” which makes me wonder, I have five classes left, so at this rate, I’ll probably end up graduating with my ninth or tenth adviser… (insert sad joke). The other thing that makes me think they’re pissed at me is part of the agreement I made with them about my last two classes was when I retake the one class I have a different Professor/Instructor and they put me with the same person that pissed me off last time. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a situation where “Oh grow up and deal with it” applies, it’s a “this guy is a fucking asshole” applies.

*Medical?*
Originally written at 4am on the 21st
As I sit here in the middle of the night, trying to keep cool, I look at my pile of medicine bottles wondering when it’s going to end… when will I get my life back together, fix my back/spine and be able to walk like normal again… {pops another pain pill and another anti-depressant}
Written ‘now’
I did my follow up with my new doctor earlier this week and everything went fine, she noticed a change in my mood (for the better) but decided to double the strength of my Anti-Depressants anyway. Nothing was really said about the issues with my right arm and left leg, but oh well, my leg isn’t changing much, although my arm is getting worse. Thankfully I think it’s just like a heat rash or something else that isn’t bad, just itches like a bitch.

*Quote of the Moment* (no idea what to actually call it)
Cartman: Was it fun?
Kyle: Cartman, what kind of stupid ass question is that? Of coarse it was fun!
Jimbo: Well sure Vietnam was fun, but not like ‘going to the circus’ fun, or ‘fly fishing in Montana’ fun. No, Vietnam was more like ‘shoving shards of broken glass up your ass, then sitting in a tub of Tabasco Sauce’ fun.
Stan: Whoa

*Poetry*
Once in awhile I’m going to post a little of my poetry for your reading pleasure, leave me comments if you like.

A tear

A tear came running down my cheek.
It fell because I’m blue.
I somehow feel I let you down.
I was not strong for you.

I have tried to be a rock,
On whom you can lean.
I try to keep my eyes so dry
That a tear cannot be seen.

But yesterday I was depressed.
For the moment I was weak.
Just when I let down my guard,
A tear ran down my cheek.

The heart, that beats inside my chest,
Beats only for you, my dear.
It’s my concern for you, my love,
That’s why I shed the tear.

So please forgive me when I’m weak.
I’ll try always to be your Clown..
But occasionally I may hit bottom.
Please hold me when I’m down.

*Updates/Upgrades*
All the DNS updates are complete and both the .com and .net domains should match (with the exception of the “Project”)

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Upgrades… and apologies

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I’ve had a bunch of things I’ve wanted to post about for a few weeks now but haven’t for a few reasons. First off, the two classes I mentioned in the last post ended on the 10th and I’ve been on ‘summer vacation’ since. The main problem with this is that a few weeks ago (Week 2 of those classes) a lot of shit went wrong and just kept getting worse.

Due to privacy I wont get into much, but I’ll just say her mother is doing better and will be released from the hospital this Friday (she’s been there for about a month) and some things will go back to normal. While I was helping her with her family medical issues I had a few more of my own and thankfully those have been taken care of (as far as I can tell). As I stated on my Facebook page I’ve started taking Anti-Depressants (about fucking time someone realized I needed them) and not sure if they’ve ‘kicked in’ yet since I was told it would take at least three weeks and that’s roughly how long I’ve been taking them so far. I have noticed that I don’t seem to feel as depressed, but I feel this weird melancholy where I keep getting an urge to go somewhere or do something, but once I get around to it, I don’t feel like doing it. It’s hard to explain but some really stupid things have made me feel kind of happy, yet other things that should, don’t…

Anyway, on to the title of this post…
Upgrades…
I’ve been moving a lot of things around on the server to accommodate some new sites and new features so for the time being the sites will appear as normal when using the .net version, but the .com will show the new sites (as the DNS propagates). Once that’s completed I’ll switch the .net to match. I’m also upgrading this blog but there’s a small database issue (actually it’s more with DNS), so for now the new version will be on the .com until I import the database from this one (and edit this post)
More on the upgrades, etc. later

Apologies…
First, I’d like to apologize to Rebecca since she continued to be supportive through everything that was going on and I still screwed up… If the college sets it up so that you’re my instructor again I’ll do everything in my power to make up for it.
Angelica, Bernie, JP, Shawn, Ed, etc… Sorry I haven’t been around, obviously I’ve been busy. 🙁
Todd, Nick, Nathan, and anyone else that has called/txt’d lately when I haven’t responded… Deal with it… 😛

The above DNS proagation should be complete by 7am EST at the latest (my guess) and if I’m still awake I’ll attempt to finish and make another post with the rest of the info I planned on posting, including some photos and other stuff.

Category: Misc. | Tags: , , , ,
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